the-beat-blog

WHERE IS MY CROWN?

April Parker

November 12th , 2018 my life took, what seemed at the time, a drastic turn. I was indefinitely relieved of my duties as an educator; resulting in the painfulness of leaving my students whom had impressed so much love and appreciation upon me. I felt deprived of my joy, motivation, and optimism, which instantaneously engulfed me into a whirlwind of emotions. I was depressed and angry at my reality and had no idea what to do. Crying out to my higher power didn’t seem to satisfy the anguish I was experiencing, and I found myself going deeper and deeper into my emotions. I began to lean on my friends as an attempt to provide myself a much-needed outlet.

Not realizing that I possessed all the tools I needed to regain my happiness, I found myself trying to get the attention of someone I thought cared and wanted to do all they can to make me happy. The more I tried to reach out, the more exhausted I became. The more I sat and tried to gain their attention, the more I found myself questioning why my attempts were unsuccessful; leaving me more focused on how to gain their attention than my own happiness.

I was finally able to get some sleep and I had a dream that I was fighting with someone to regain possession of my crown. When I woke up, I was super confused and wondered the meaning of this dream I had experienced. I began to contemplate on how I ended up in the position to have to fight for my crown which led to the ultimate question of “How did I lose possession of it in the first place?” Then it dawned on me that I’ve mistreated myself by begging for the attention
of someone who was incompetent of fulfilling the simplest of my needs. I desperately needed to detach myself from them and focus on what I did have… My supportive friends whom effortlessly build me up and my trust in my higher power to give me the boost I needed to dive head first back into a happy life. That was enough… I just had to help myself out as well.

If you find yourself in my position, it is imperative to know and understand that you control the outcome. Surround yourself with your community of support and get out. Remove the things and people that are adding toxins into your life and don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad for demanding to be treated a certain way. Let your light shine and adjust you crown. You are valuable. You are amazing. You are worth it. Adjust your crown!


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