Who knew that Life Group would become my Life Guards? For months now, I’ve been drowning in tears, uncertainty, and pain from people and situations that are unexplainable. Crying out for help from friends, family, and my boyfriend... but no one HEARS me. Covering up my feelings and tricking myself into believing that it’s me, I’m making up all this mess in my head. I’ve literally asked God why is this happening? Why am I the one that’s hurting? Why does it hurt so bad? You literally can’t prepare for anything, it just slaps you in the face. The hurt is deep... the position is real and it’s important to feel it and deal with it... but how?
Two words... Life. Group.: a group of women from all different walks of life, around the same age, that do life with you. You pray together, talk about God together, and just be open and transparent about your daily walk and how difficult or beautiful it could be. The motto at our church is “a place where NO ONE walks alone.” And let me tell you since I’ve been there... they mean it lol. I jumped into the life group very guarded and defensive about everything, letting the stereotypes of a group of women hold me back from being venerable. If you could see me now!! Lol honey I’m talking their heads off and I love EVERY moment. We’re literally growing together in every aspect of life. I didn’t know how important they would become until I really started to experience some stuff.
Here recently in Life Group, a few of us admitted that it gets hard to truly open up about what hunts us on a daily basis and how we just want to run in a corner and ball up. Me being one of them. I always think that I’m being a burden or people don’t want to hear me and I’m currently feeling that now, but my Life Group really broke that wall down. They listen, they ask follow up questions, and give you sound advice.
Although, there will be many more moments Life Group will save me from drowning... if I didn’t need them any other time, this was the time. I’ve never felt so alone and misunderstood in my life. Everything around me is changing and I literally had no one to turn to except my Life Group. I’m grateful for the ability to speak and be heard. I’m learning to let go of what was and walk into what God is building. I don’t understand what’s going on around me and maybe it’s not for me to understand, but Life Group has really taken a weight off my back that I was going to carry for a while. They’ve taught me that it’s ok to let go for a season and come back and try it again later. They’ve taught me that it's ok to be my true self with God. They’ve taught me how to truly open up and feel ok about it. Genuine community is hard to find and here I am with a treasure chest full of gold.
Thank you ladies for being my Life Guards.