the-beat-blog

I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

April Parker

I hope during this quarantine you’ve had time to gather your thoughts and reboot in some areas. I can truly say that this thing has been challenging. I’ve been up, down, hanging on the edge, and pulling myself back up again. All while watching those around me go through the same cycle of emotion or more. We’ve tried to do everything under the sun, but deal with our shit. When do you tell yourself “I’ve Had Enough?” 3 things I’ve learned during this quarantine: Do what you want, Say what you feel, and Give what you can.

 

Do

Quarantina thought she had me honey… honestly, she did, that’s beside the point though lol. I was so afraid to be alone during the quarantine that I was trying to fill that space with my friends, expecting them to emotionally support me and build me back up. That blinded me so badly that I didn’t realize the mental trauma they were experiencing. I wasn’t strong enough to be alone or emotionally support myself and that revealed some messy stuff in me and around me! I started to be more honest with myself and the people that were surrounding me. I set boundaries, started removing longtime friends from my life, accepting people for the mess they wanted to be a part of and started saying “I don’t want to” and being okay with that. The reality of me DOING what was best for me taught me to not only love myself more, but also trust myself! You can’t always lean on the people in your life, so having that emotional and mental support within, will take you far! I’ve Had Enough.

 

Say

I’ve always been a say what’s on your mind type of girl, but only with certain people. I can tell my friends what’s on my mind with no hesitation, but quarantine showed me that I wasn’t really saying what was on my mind. I was afraid to tell my family why I didn’t want to come around, afraid to tell this amazing man how I truly felt about him, and afraid to tell people how to treat me. It wasn’t until I started to feel lost and weak. I couldn’t believe that me, the communicator was falling into this pit of worry and shame. I literally had to tell myself “Enough is enough! Say what you need to say and be free in that.” And yall… the freedom is so amazing! I no longer want to live in that fear of expressing my emotion, I’ve Had Enough!

 

Give

Being selfish isn’t so bad… sometimes you have to free your mind, practice self-care, and just be with self! I give a lot of myself and the people closet to me really don’t appreciate it (no shade. Lol). It’s lowkey taken for granted… the advice, the emotions, the check-ins, and did I mention the advice. The relationships we build cause us to create these underline expectations that don’t exist. We give ourselves too much access to the daily lives of the people we care about. We get consumed and start to take on their pain and emotion. The same energy you give to them, focus it on you and what you need. Stop what you’re doing and say, I’ve had enough!

 

Do what you want, Say what you feel, and Give what you can are my daily goals! I’m coming out of this quarantine with so much peace and you can too. Give yourself grace and work towards a goal of loving yourself more and more daily. These things take time, but once you get to that place… you’ll be saying “I’VE HAD ENOUGH!”


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